Boo! Hahaha, I had enjoyable wanting via my CT scan pictures and took this screenshot as a result of it appeared fairly creepy (these eyeballs!).
I understand how uncool it was to publish about my biopsy after which take two weeks to share the outcomes! I felt just like the outcomes took without end. Because the biopsy was on Friday, I hoped the outcomes could be out there on Monday; Tuesday on the newest. Often, labs and assessments are uploaded to my chart on-line inside 24 hours or so.
By Wednesday, I nonetheless did not have the outcomes. I known as the ENT doc who’d ordered the biopsy and was advised that the physician needed to go over them in individual. And that he was going to be out for every week, so the earliest out there appointment could be on the twenty second! Listening to that, in fact, I ready myself for dangerous information.
In the meantime, I had been leaping via all of the hoops to get an appointment on the College of Michigan medical middle, which could be very troublesome to get into; it is an enormous instructing hospital. (The lady from scheduling that I spoke with even had my biopsy outcomes however wasn’t allowed to present them to me.) I requested my major care physician to fax my referral and information (I used to be shocked that folks nonetheless fax issues…) and he or she did it instantly. Then I needed to look ahead to the scheduler to name me to set the appointment with the ENT (otolaryngology; “ear/nostril/throat”) division. I lastly received an appointment for the twenty fourth (yesterday).
I used to be nonetheless ready on take a look at outcomes, and I simply could not wait anymore. I do not know why I did not ask within the first place, however I contacted my major care doc once more and requested if she had the outcomes and was she capable of add them. Inside an hour, they have been in my chart. (My physician is the BEST at doing every part rapidly.)
Anyway, the outcome was that my mass is benign! Which is clearly nice information. Nonetheless, nonetheless, this mass is inflicting me loads of discomfort–especially after the biopsy. The biopsy made my signs a lot worse and I have been tremendous irritable. I consistently really feel like my shirt is choking me, however after I attain to drag the collar from my neck, it isn’t there–it’s simply this mass that’s inflicting the strangling feeling.
The CT that was taken within the emergency room the day of my biopsy confirmed that the mass had elevated by a few centimeter (it was about 5.5 and now it is about 6.5 cm–that’s *very* giant). Since I had the appointment at U of M, I had entry to their affected person portal. My CT scan was in there, and I used to be completely fascinated wanting via the photographs. It is like watching a video touring via your physique, one airplane at a time, and there are pictures from a number of directions–traveling from the entrance of my face to the again of my head, and from both sides touring via to the opposite aspect, and even beginning at my lungs, shifting as much as the highest of my head. You possibly can see every part in 3D.)
Based mostly on the physician’s notes and the photographs, it confirmed that my trachea and esophagus have been being pushed to the aspect as a result of mass urgent towards them–this is why I’ve problem swallowing and what’s inflicting the strangling feeling. It is pushing my carotid artery towards my again. It is even touching my backbone, and goes down previous my clavicle (collar bone). Needles to say, it is very large. I knew it could want to return out, however I hoped that I might save my proper thyroid so as to *attempt to* keep away from needing hormone alternative medicine for the remainder of my life.
*I should still want it, it should depend upon my thyroid operate after surgical procedure*
Right here is a picture that exhibits from the entrance to the back–the crimson line is my airway, which must be straight up and down. And the blue circles the mass itself.
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CT of thyroid mass, circled in blue |
My appointment at U of M yesterday didn’t begin out properly. I do know most individuals will suppose that is shallow, however I’ve written earlier than about how I’m having such a tough time with displaying indicators of getting old. You could keep in mind when, in 2018(?), Jerry and I went to the lab for him to have his blood drawn and I used to be with him. I sat down within the ready room and he went as much as the counter to examine in. The lady there noticed his license/birthdate and exclaimed how younger he appeared and mentioned these phrases which nonetheless hang-out me: “I believed that was your mom with you!”
Up till that second, I by no means considered myself as wanting outdated. However that triggered one thing within me that made me discover every part about myself that’s displaying indicators of getting old. Do I actually appear like I might be 60-ish+ years outdated?! Even when Jerry appeared MUCH younger–let’s say 30 (he is 44)–that would imply I would must look roughly 50 (at this time I turned 43). I began to really feel extraordinarily self-conscious of my age at that time, regardless that I by no means cared in any respect earlier than. Is not it silly how one single remark from somebody has the facility to try this? Most individuals would most likely giggle about it, but it surely had the other impact on me.
Anyway, again to my appointment yesterday. The medical assistant introduced us again to weigh me and get my blood strain. He requested me, “Is that this your son with you?”
My face received actually sizzling and my ears instantly began ringing. I used to be so flustered I could not even reply him, and Jerry, understanding I used to be crushed, helped alleviate the awkwardness I felt by making a joke concerning the fountain of youth or one thing. The medical assistant requested for my birthday and after I advised him, he mentioned, “Pleased early birthday!”. I mentioned, in what I hoped got here off as nonchalant, “Thanks, however I am out of the blue feeling very outdated”. I sort of needed to trace to him that as a substitute of asking if it was my son, simply ask who’s with me at this time or one thing like that.
I believed he would apologize, however he did not catch on. I can keep in mind being (comparatively) younger and by no means understanding why age was such a sensitive topic for ladies. After I labored at Curves in my 20’s, a lot of the ladies have been within the 40 to 60-ish age vary and incessantly talked about aging–I simply did not get it. I by no means thought I’d care about getting old! And I truthfully would not thoughts it, if I believed I appeared my age–43–but 60+?! That is exhausting to swallow. (Fairly actually proper now, haha). When it was only one one that talked about it, it might be written off as a one-off unintentionally impolite remark; however when two folks say it, properly…
Okay, sufficient of that. I used to be pleasantly stunned on the minimal wait time, which was superior. The ENT physician was extremely really useful by my cousin, who’s a nurse practitioner there, and he or she was every part I hoped. She was extraordinarily pleasant and affected person, taking the time to reply my questions and clarify every part very well. An anesthesiology med pupil was along with her and he was simply as nice.
They needed to scope my throat, which wasn’t enjoyable (on the earlier ENT doc’s workplace, they did it as properly). They put an extended, skinny, versatile tube with a digital camera on one finish, via my nostril and down my throat to take a look at my vocal cords. It actually looks like a COVID take a look at, solely like pushing the swab all over to stab your mind. Then it felt like I had a capsule caught in my throat. However my vocal cords aren’t broken; the change in my voice is probably going as a result of my trachea (airway) is being pushed apart by the mass on my thyroid. (My voice has gotten sort of raspy and it is a pressure to speak.)
They agreed that the mass ought to come out, and the physician defined the surgical procedure to me. It is below basic anesthesia, which is extra sophisticated than the IV sedation I had just lately for my tooth extraction, however I have been below thrice before–for my two jaw restore surgical procedures and for my pores and skin removing surgery–so I am not too nervous about it. The scariest half is that they’re going to be working in a really vital space of my body–around my airway, my esophagus, my carotid arteries, jugular veins, and vocal cords–and there are dangers with that. However the ENT physician is the one who can be performing the surgical procedure and I really feel very assured in her.
After I was tremendous nervous concerning the basic anesthesia earlier than getting my jaw restore, my surgeon (who was an ENT doc) advised me this: In case you’re nervous about your airway throughout surgical procedure, the very best group you’ll be able to have with you is an ENT group. In order that’s comforting! Haha.
The surgical procedure sounds very straight-forward and I will be allowed to depart the identical day (she mentioned three hours or so). For every week post-op, I have to relaxation, not raise something over 10 kilos, eat tender meals for a few days, and that is about it. There’s loads of follow-up lab work to see if my thyroid hormones tank. They’re utterly regular proper now, so I’m hoping my proper thyroid will do exactly superb when the left is gone. The ENT doc mentioned that it occurs in about half of sufferers with this process.
Now, I simply have to attend for a name from the scheduler to get a date for surgical procedure. The physician mentioned that since it isn’t most cancers, I haven’t got to do it proper away–just each time it is handy for me–but I will take the primary out there date. My signs are driving me loopy, particularly since my biopsy.
Haha! Talking of, after my biopsy I used to be advised that I “might need a small bruise that ought to go away by itself in a few days”. It’s now 15 days later, and that is what it seems like:
Apart from the bruise, although, the lump could be very noticeable in my neck. It wasn’t like this earlier than the biopsy. This mass grew SO rapidly. I seen someday within the summer–I believe August–that my neck appeared a bit greater in entrance. I forgot about it after I received COVID, after which the headache that lasted two months, and the method that led to my tooth extraction.
It was nonetheless barely noticeable in December, however now there isn’t a means you’ll be able to miss it. I am nervous it will proceed to develop at this fee. I am thrilled that it isn’t most cancers, regardless that I knew I would be having surgical procedure both means, but it surely’s so uncomfortable–I can not look ahead to it to be gone!