FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES STORIES
In search of first homosexual experiences tales? In that case, you wouldn’t be alone. In keeping with scientific analysis, one thing like 7-8% of males who determine as heterosexual has had some sort of identical sex-experience.
Whereas many web sites are likely to eroticize such encounters, few provide first hand, true tales of those homosexual experiences. Given curiosity on this subject, we thought it could be useful to share a few of these with readers.
Beneath is a podcast (E17) that options an e-mail from a listener who identifies as straight however lately discovered himself attracted to a different man at his gymnasium. From The Males’s Self-Assist Podcast.
STRAIGHT MEN SHARE TRUE FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES
What follows are 25 first homosexual experiences tales as instructed by males who determine as straight. To assemble their narratives, we requested the Man Counseling neighborhood to return ahead and share.
First names are used to guard their identities. Our hope is to assist males who’re attempting to return to phrases with their sexuality. Keep in mind, orientation just isn’t all the time black or white.
You should definitely take our ballot on the finish of this put up.
1. AFTER A FEW DRINKS
“I used to be 21-years outdated and spent many of the summer time working building to make extra cash for faculty. On the job, I received to know one of many guys [Mike] who was somewhat older than me. Like 25?
One Friday after work, a bunch of us stopped by a neighborhood watering gap to tie just a few on. On the finish of the evening, Mike invited me again to his place to sit back.
I don’t keep in mind all the particulars, however we ended up watching a film and firing up some 420. The subsequent factor I knew, we had been taking place on one another.
It solely occurred as soon as, and we by no means talked about it once more.”
-Nick/38 Straight Man
2. MARINE BOOT CAMP
“I’ve all the time been drawn to ladies and by no means had an expertise with one other man – though I had thought of it. However that modified throughout my time in boot camp after becoming a member of the Marines.
There was a man who was about my age (22) who I used to be unusually drawn to. Undecided if it was his construct or what however I simply I simply know that I appreciated him.
Simply earlier than commencement, we ended up hooking up off-base. Undecided the way to clarify the dynamics. Yeah, we had been ingesting however we weren’t sloshed. What’s bizarre is that we ended up doing it two extra instances. I’m married now and so is he. We’re nonetheless associates on Fb.”
-Rick/32 Heterosexual Male
3. COLLEGE DORM BUDDIES
“It was just a few days simply earlier than Thanksgiving and everybody had left campus to go residence for the vacation, apart from me and two different dudes staying within the dorms.
Feeling bored, the three of us determined to hang around in my room and play poker. One of many two dudes was out on campus. He supplied to go down on me and the opposite man as a wager. We thought he was joking however came upon later he wasn’t.
Yep – he made good on his wager.
It was the primary time I had ever skilled one thing with one other man. It was additionally my final however I don’t remorse it.”
-Chris/37 Married Straight Man
4. SCOTCH HOOK UP
“I had a buddy in school who was homosexual however within the closet. One evening we had been ingesting scotch at his place and he confessed he had been crushing on me for a very long time.
One factor led to a different and we ended up making out. Later, we traded some oral motion. Solely occurred as soon as as a result of it received bizarre afterward. Undecided why.”
-Dennis/39 Identifies as straight
5. CAMPING IN WISCONSIN
“After I was 25-years outdated, I took my little brothers on a tenting journey to the Northern woods of Wisconsin. We had been making the trek from Chicago for years however after our dad handed away, we determined to maintain the custom going.
Whereas we had been staying at a state campground, one of many park rangers got here by our tenting space to warn us of pending extreme climate. I believe the man was round 30 years outdated?
We began speaking and I received the sense he was focused on me. I’ve by no means been drawn to different males, however there was simply one thing about him that I appreciated. Laborious to clarify. Perhaps it was his cologne?
Simply earlier than we left, he stopped by our camp and mentioned he’d be visiting Chicago the subsequent weekend. After I gave him my quantity, I knew precisely what I used to be doing.
Positive sufficient, when he arrived on the town, he known as. I ended up going to his lodge and we ended up getting it on. Nothing critical. He went down on me and I tried doing the identical however wasn’t excellent at it.
After that occurred, I by no means heard from him once more. Does this imply I’m homosexual? I don’t suppose so. I believe labels do extra hurt than good.”
-Ken/34 Says he’s straight
6. BUILDING SECURITY GUARDS
“I’m a constructing safety guard on the East Coast. Two years in the past, one other man who was my age was placed on the night-shift. If you work that shift, it’s very quiet. To move time, we made small speak and gossiped about folks within the constructing.
One weekend round 2 or 3 within the morning, we had been tremendous bored and began speaking about our hookup experiences. I don’t know what occurred, nevertheless it should have gotten us each horned.
We ended swapping head in a utility room. It occurred just a few extra instances that summer time – to the purpose the place all considered one of us must do is say ‘utility room’ and the opposite man knew what time it was.
When summer time was over, he received transferred to a different constructing. Not going to say I didn’t take pleasure in it and I do know he appreciated it too.”
-Pedro/32 Married with youngsters
7. ONE YEAR PRISON STINT
“After I was 25-years outdated, I used to be sentenced to jail for 5 years on a drug-related cost. Ultimately, I solely ended up spending a yr in jail.
Throughout that point, I attached a number of instances with just a few of the inmates. It occurs greater than folks suppose and never as a result of straight guys are compelled into it.
In my case it was mutual. To me, I used to be merely getting my wants met – similar to the opposite guys doing time. Do labels actually apply if you end up doing time?”
-Enrique/38 Straight man
8. DAIRY CASE AT GROCERY STORE
“The summer time after graduating highschool, I took a job at a job at my native grocery retailer within the dairy division. You understand, like stocking milk, cheese, and eggs. The work sucked and didn’t pay all that nice, however I wanted the money for books.
There was one other man (Sam) who labored within the Deli that was round my age that appeared cool. Sometimes, we’d run into one another and speak about sports activities and the way the Packers had been going to make it to Tremendous Bowl.
One weekend I used to be alone within the dairy case, unloading expired milk from behind the casing and ready for the truck to ship the brand new stuff. That’s when Sam got here to make small speak.
I don’t keep in mind all the particulars, however I do know in some unspecified time in the future I noticed him popping wooden beneath his work khakis. All I can inform you is that I used to be impressed.
We ended up j-rking collectively within the meat freezer. The entire thing was over in lower than 10-minutes (if that). After that, we did extra stuff however not within the retailer.”
-Trevor/41 Principally hetero
9. FOOTBALL TEAM
“After I was in school, I performed soccer. Not that I used to be something to speak about as a result of I largely sat on the bench. However there was a first-string dude that I used to be buddies with the place issues used to occur.
It was by no means like we deliberate it or something. Generally he’d move by room [dorm] and say hi there. One time, he confirmed as much as shoot the $hit – you already know, like to hang around.
I keep in mind telling him my shoulder was tousled from a foul play and he supplied to therapeutic massage it to loosen up the muscle. That’s after I felt his stiffy towards me via his sweats.
After that, the remaining is historical past. We ended up messing round. Over the course of a yr, it occurred just a few instances. The dude is married now and so am I. To me, it doesn’t imply you’re homosexual if you happen to experiment.”
-Ronnie/39 Residing straight life
10. STEAM ROOM AT GYM
“There was just one time the place I ever received it on with one other dude and that occurred at my gymnasium, round 10-years in the past. The reality is, I had all the time needed to know what it was like so not going to lie.
I suppose that’s the reason I let this random man do his factor on me. Yeah, it was cool. Undecided I’d do it once more however at the least I can say I had a primary homosexual expertise.”
-Mitch/36 Straight dude
11. FIRST GAY EXPERIENCE CABBY
“I used to drive a Checker cab in Chicago again within the early 2000’s, after I was in my 20’s. Everybody knew the cash was good in Boystown so many of the cabbies tried to seize fares on weekends by the bars.
One time, I picked up a journey by a man who needed a carry downtown. On the best way, he pulled out a leather-based pockets and supplied me me $300.00 to look at me j-rk. After I instructed him no, he upped it to $350, I instructed him I used to be down.
Quickest cash I ever made. Don’t remorse it both.”
-Ricky/40-One thing Straight man
12. GIRLFRIEND’S BROTHER
“After I was again in highschool, I dated this lady from my neighborhood. She had a brother who was the identical age as me and we turned associates.
One time whereas we had been hanging out, he shared with me that he was bi. He requested me if I had ever been with one other man and I instructed him the reality – by no means.
Don’t ask me why however we began playing around. I suppose there was part of me that was curious. The bizarre factor is the lady and I by no means messed round – not even as soon as.
I don’t think about myself homosexual and even bi. Again then, I believe I used to be simply figuring issues out and he was someone to do this with.”
-Frank/28 Just about straight
13. BELLMAN AT HOTEL
“After I was 19-years outdated, I labored at a lodge as a bellman. Continuously, male visitors had me convey up their baggage.
No less than 5 instances, I ended up staying somewhat additional. It was all the time for a giant tip. The perfect half was I didn’t should do something besides pull my pants down and allow them to do their factor.
When you’re younger and broke, you’ll do something for cash. I’m married now with youngsters and don’t think about myself homosexual.”
-Nick 33 Says he’s hetero
14. BACKDOOR ACTION TIME
“Again in school, there was a man that I used to get with for oral stuff. In the future, he requested me if I’d ever wish to do extra. At first, I used to be hesitant as a result of it appeared like that might be drawing a line, you already know?
However he was persistent, and I admit I used to be curious. Lengthy story quick, it occurred. I can’t say I didn’t prefer it as a result of I did. However we solely did it just a few instances.”
-Kenny 38 Principally hetero
15. 420 TIME WITH BUDDY
“It occurred just a few instances. A neighbor and I used to get collectively and smoke. A variety of what occurred is fuzzy so I don’t keep in mind all the small print. However I do keep in mind we did issues.”
-Brian/39 Fuzzy straight
16. HOOKUP APP ENCOUNTER
“I went onto a well-liked hookup app to see what I might discover. Undecided the way it occurred however I ended up tapping on a filter that put me in a same-sex class. I finally received out of it nevertheless it was too late, I used to be already listed within the homosexual space.
About an hour into it, a man reached out to me and mentioned he was simply trying to give oral. As a result of I wasn’t having a lot luck in straightsville, I figured why not. There has all the time been part of me who was curious, so I figured WTF not, you already know?
To maintain it actual, I’ve received to say that I loved myself. However as soon as I received it out of my system, I’ve actually by no means had any want to do it once more. I suppose it’s all a part of rising older.”
-Bruce 33/Decidedly straight
17. FIRE DEPARTMENT PROBIE
“After I was a probie [probation) with the Fire Department, there was another guy assigned to our firehouse, going through the ranks with me.
Both of us became pretty tight, which is what you would expect given how F-ing awful they treat you. We used to hang out a lot and I guess we bonded.
I’m not going to go so far as to say we were boyfriends because we weren’t. But when we weren’t at work, we did make out a few times and more. I was bumped when he got transferred a year after making it through probation.”
-Mark/36 Totally hetero
18. BASEBALL PRACTICE FIRST GAY EXPERIENCE
“When I was 19, I used to play ball in our neighborhood league. A lot of the guys did because there wasn’t anything else going on in the suburbs.
There was this one guy I used to get with after practice. It just sort of happened. The weird thing is we never talked about it. From time to time, we would end up in my garage when my parents weren’t home and mess around. We were both curious I guess.”
Bobby/33 Straight male
19. FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES WITH COUSIN
“When I was 18-years old, my cousin Nick stopped by our family’s house. We were living in Iowa and he was driving from New Jersey to California for a new job.
He ended up staying in my room during his visit. He was a little older than me but not by much (21?). I remember him undressing and noticing how much bigger he was than me.
He must have caught me eyeing him because he laughed about it. Then, on the next night of his stay, he purposely made sure I saw it again. The rest is history. I was curious and strangely attracted to him. Only happened once and it is not something we’ve ever talked about.”
-Doug/Hetro with a secret
20. WATCHED GUYS IN THE ARMY
“I never really did something with another guy but I did use to watch two dudes I served with [in the military] fiddle within the woods.
They all the time thought they had been being personal, however I’d see them doing issues lots. The truth that I watched tells you one thing.
-Curtis/39 Hetero male
21. NEIGHBOR HOOK UP
“I’m probably not ashamed that I used to hook up with my neighbor from my teen-years. I wager a variety of guys have had homosexual experiences and they’re simply too rooster to speak about it.”
-Kelly/38 Says he straight
22. MOVIE THEATER BREAK
“A number of years in the past, I went to a film with a few buddies and midway via the movie, wanted to make use of the boys’s room. That’s after I noticed a man touching himself in a urinal subsequent to me.
It’s laborious for me to clarify nevertheless it actually turned me on, so I joined him. Briefly, we each reached out and touched each other. If it lasted greater than 15 seconds I’d be stunned. That’s the closest I’ve ever come to one thing with one other dude. I believe that qualifies as my first homosexual expertise. Will it ever occur once more?”
-Ryan/35 Clinging to straight
23. BOARDING SCHOOL GAY HOOKUP
“Throughout my highschool years, I went to a army boarding faculty. The setup was three guys to a dorm. I turned associates with one of many guys I bunked with named Dale.
On some random fall weekend, it was simply me and Dale in our room whereas the opposite roommate went again residence on depart. That’s when me and Dale began speaking about 69 and what that could be like. One factor led to a different and the subsequent factor I knew we had been really doing it – in the course of the ground – of our dorm.
For the rest of the varsity yr, we attached A LOT in varied locations. Oddly sufficient, we stayed in contact after commencement and nonetheless speak to today. However we by no means talk about our senior yr in class. Is that how bromances work?”
-Nathan/29 Now married with two youngsters
24. CURIOUS WORKOUT NEIGHBOR
“I should have been all of 21-years outdated after I had my first homosexual expertise. There was a neighbor dude I used to carry weights with in his storage. He had a type of Joe Weider flat benches, which again then was form of a giant deal.
Over the course of time, we received nearer and nearer. In the future he reached out and touched me and I didn’t cease him. It didn’t take lengthy earlier than we each began doing issues to 1 one other on that bench. We in all probability attached half a dozen instances.
The entire thing ended after I joined the Military and received deployed. He has lengthy since moved elsewhere together with his household. Enjoyable instances. However that was years in the past. I’ve by no means performed something like that since.”
-Eric/31 Male Heterosexual
25. MUSCLE CAR ENCOUNTER
“After I was 30-years outdated, I purchased a 1968 Ford Thunderbird. Muscle vehicles have all the time been my factor, and this was my dream automobile. However this automobile wanted a variety of work, so I used to contract with a mechanic who specialised in older fashions.
The dude was round my age and we used to talk lots about vehicles, sports activities, and the standard stuff that guys do. It’s a part of the explanation we turned quick associates.
One weekend, after doing a little work on my automobile, we took it out for a take a look at drive. All I can inform you is that whereas we had been on the street, we pulled off right into a truck cease. That’s after we swapped head within the car parking zone.
I doubt he would determine as homosexual as a result of he was married with somewhat child on the time. I’m fairly positive we had been each simply tremendous curious. Solely occurred as soon as. I nonetheless know the dude.”
-Vincent 37/Straight and dwelling by bro-code
FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES HAPPEN MORE THAN YOU THINK
In studying the numerous first homosexual experiences tales shared on this web page, you will need to do not forget that in some unspecified time in the future, most males who determine as straight have had some sort of homosexual expertise. I’m mentioning this as a result of many individuals cling to labels that don’t all the time precisely characterize an individual’s fact.
In case you are a straight man studying this piece, you in all probability can keep in mind some sort of identical intercourse expertise you had with one other man over the course of your life. The query is – would you ever speak about it? If not, why? Are you afraid that somebody would possibly suppose you’re homosexual?
Meals for thought.
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References
Twenge, J.M., Sherman, R.A. & Wells, B.E. Arch Intercourse Behav (2016) 45: 1713. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-016-0769-4